[WFB] In Which Mr. E Contemplates a Slaaneshi Past

The other day, a conversation on classichammer.com got me thinking about the army I don’t constantly bang on about on this blog. Before I was a Vampire Counts player, I was a Chaos Warriors player: for all that the Undead were my gateway drug, Chaos was my actual point of entry, largely because I had to get as many points per pound sterling as possible in those days of pocket money budgets.

I had one of those “£50 gets you 2000 points” Chaos armies back in fifth edition: two boxes of Warriors, one of Knights, a Chariot and a couple of characters. All that and a Lord of Change for my birthday. Spray ’em black, drybrush ’em silver, make a complete pig’s ear of the Greater Daemon and job was a good ‘un.

The games were a drudge. I remember six sorry weekends of trudging across a table into the teeth of my friend Mike’s fourth edition box set High Elves. My Chariots were immobilised by an ocean of S3 shots pinging the horses off, my units were kicked in the ‘nards and left for dead by High Magic and I was punished in the afterlife by my complete inability to get my Chaos Lord out of the Black Gem of Gnar, or not turned into a Spawn, or into combat at all after his Daemonic Steed suffered spontaneous existence failure.

Roll around sixth edition and after a disastrous foray into Orc and Goblin land I was determined never to take another terror or panic test again if I could help it. I broke out the purple paint, bought a job lot of Daemonettes and a Warhammer Quest Chaos Warrior (I’d lost the mounted General somewhere), and went to work. Result thus.

Sorcerer Lord: Mark of Slaanesh, Chaos Daemon Sword, Talisman of Protection: 390
Exalted Champion: Mark of Slaanesh, greataxe, Crown of Everlasting Conquest: 174

12 Warriors: Mark of Slaanesh, halberds, Champion, musician and standard: 242
12 Warriors: Mark of Slaanesh, shields, Champion, musician and standard: 230
5 Knights: Mark of Slaanesh, Champion, musician and standard (War Banner): 260
Chariot: Mark of Slaanesh: 130
Chariot: Mark of Slaanesh: 130

12 Daemonettes: 180
12 Daemonettes: 180
5 Furies: 75

On paper it’s certainly a very elite army, and mass Immunity to Panic is certainly a big deal, but even typing it all out and checking the sums has me thinking it could have been tuned up and turned over (especially if I’d found that infernal mounted Lord model).

It has no units with a full rank bonus, bad weapons on at least one Warrior unit, no Chosen at all, mostly middling armour saves, only six Power Dice to insult the intelligence and quite a lot of the models are feeble, Unstable Daemonettes who vanish in a whoosh of lavender if anyone looks at them funny. I don’t even have the Rapturous Standard!

If I had my time over again I’d probably do a 1000 point mostly-Marauder army (as an excuse to use my beloved sixth edition Giant and pick up the rather spiffy female Marauder-esque character from the Age of Sigmar range) and then summon in a Keeper or Prince and his little friends for 2000 point games. There’d probably be one unit of actual Chaos Warriors or Knights along for the ride (although they might be carrying the Rapturous Standard, because I’m only human and it’s very good). Something like this:

Angharad the Aghol: 176
Exalted Champion, Mark of Slaanesh, great weapon, shield, Bindings of Slaanesh

Grishenkov: 156
Sorcerer, extra magic level, Mark of Slaanesh, barded Chaos Steed, Sceptre of Domination

Men of the Aghol Tribe: 145
20 Marauders with flails
Champion, musician, standard

Knights of Ashteth: 285
5 Knights with Mark of Slaanesh
Champion, musician, standard bearer with Rapturous Standard

Oglaf the Giant: 205

992 points

Keeper of Secrets 625

10 Daemonettes 150

10 Daemonettes 150

5 Furies 75

+ 1000 points

Still pretty terrible, to be honest, but it has a lot of the things I think are fun about Slaanesh armies, and takes advantage of the Hordes book’s excessive flexibility to flip the script in bigger games. It’s either this or a delivery system for the Shaggoth, possibly my favourite Chaos model, and the plastic Dragon Ogres which eventually emerged to match him.

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