[WFB] List Maintenance: Lord Ruthven Restored

Because I’m a whocking great nerd, I keep a battlefield journal. Not exhaustive “and then I rolled a three and a two and he rolled a four and a six” level stuff because life is much too short, but a “no more than one A5 spread per thing” record of the games I’ve played and the army lists I’ve used (or considered using).

Despite my respect for the Stillmanic principle in some regards (I am still using the same army I started on my eighteenth birthday and have barely touched some of it with a paintbrush since), I’m an inveterate tinkerer and fine tuner and consider this a pleasure I shall not forgo just because ol’ Nigel doesn’t think it proper.

Here are the post mortem notes on the list I took to that London back in March, straight from the Book.

Rod of Flaming Death works – it worries people just enough that they always Dispel it.

Pretty clear there, past me. I used to look down on the Rod and not bother with it, now I understand that opponents don’t want to risk an automatic Panic test for having one model get fried. The Rod is one of those items which can subtly turn a game even if it never actually works – and, as a bonus, it doesn’t run out of juice!

Use the Stone early to draw out scrolls – don’t save it!

The more spells I can push through in the early game the more Dispel Scrolls I can dummy out, giving me more freedom to cast in the middling turns where it matters more. Necromancy spells turn the game by tipping combats in my favour and that makes them most impactful when the battle-lines are either about to hit or have just done so. The Stone also allows me to slam five dice down on a key spell from Rosenkratz the Necromancer, cutting through the three-dice casting cap he normally has to labour under. I find this sort of thing far more decisive than bringing a single Dispel Scroll and fretting about what’s important enough to use it on.

Swap in the Aura.

Aura of Dark Majesty has returned to must-take status now that I’ve started playing on 6′ x 4′ boards more. I’d hoped that I could wean myself off it and get used to a mere 12″ bubble but the stage of the game where my fast units need to turn around and get stuck back in really needs them to keep marching, and sometimes the tide of battle draws my Lord away from them in the horizontal plane.

Stick to a Wight Lord BSB for Leadership 9.

What it says on the tin. I love Vampire Thralls, don’t get me wrong: mine is a cheap source of fast-moving chariot-wrecking arrow-scoffing extra hits right where they’re needed, and I’ve gained a new respect for the Necrarch and Strigoi variants as I help out putting tactical together for the Online. But a Thrall does not take hits well, nor lead units, and the high Leadership is excellent for keeping a combat unit where it should be after my General bites it, or when pursuit needs to be deterred in favour of good positioning.

Skeleton spears. In both games they got charged and having spears paid off. I CURSE THE VULGAR FASHION!

For years and years I misplayed the hand weapon and shield rule in sixth edition and never understood why the hardcore said sword and board was better than spear. Now I finally have a unit of Skeleton Swordsmen and am using them with a vigour, so I think my past self wants talking to here. As I go forward I find myself bringing two Skeleton units: spearmen to take point and get charged, swordsmen to deliver a flanking hit. My Zombies are reserved for filling a spare Core slot with the most minimal of caster bunkers, or raising.

Consider a steady list with swappable Counts?

I worked out a range of similarly-coster Vampire Counts a while back and considered trading them in and out of the army to see what difference it made. The drawback to this plan? My aesthetic is very much a Von Carstein army: I can get away with a Lahmian or Blood Dragon as I have appropriate Generals on foot for that, but Strigoi or Necrarchs, the most different and powerful Bloodlines, are closed to me because the rest of the army doesn’t match. (If I ever did a second Vampire Counts army, it would be mostly Ghouls and more bronze age style Skeletons, deliberately geared toward playing with these two Bloodlines.)

What do you need: Wraith or Wight? Both games had the BSB pay off but also Terror made a big impact.

This is a recurring problem for me. Both these heroes have been excellent additions to my collection and I’m a tad flummoxed about which one to leave at home when slots are at a premium. Since the Wight Lord doesn’t have quite such an established character or set of kit (he was swapped into the army at the last moment) I’m going to stick with the Wraith for the time being.

Periapt ain’t always so hot: consider another Stone.

Don’t get me wrong, the Black Periapt is fine; it’s just a case of robbing Peter to pay Paul every other turn because this phase often has to get by on seven dice so I can have nine later, and there’s a level of cognitive load involved in planning around the dice-storage gimmick that can slow me down and stop me playing decisively. I’m still umming and ahhing about the Periapt, which I think is only essential in 2000 point games where a fella only has three level 2 wizards to play with. Up here I can probably get away without it by ensuring I have enough dice in the first place, and enough powerful wizards to make good use of them.

 

To these vestiges I’d add a few more observations that came out of the report-writing process. I really like Death Magic on my Vampires and am close to considering it the default as I go forward, outside the Army of Sylvania of course (there I don’t have the luxury of faffing about without Necromancy).

The big unit of Knights is a necessary evil in a Sylvanian list but otherwise I think I need the flexibility of two units operating on opposite flanks or sweeping one together.

Finally there’s the small matter of casting power. At present the 3000 point army is too dependent on the Master and once he’s copped it, I am knocked back to 2000 point levels of casting power: not good enough. This “Master and Margarita” list archetype is therefore reserved for fifth edition from here on out, and Lord Ruthven will be making a return to wrangle the army. I also plan to shout FIE to the high heavens, bust the shield off my Imperial Noble model, and simply use the figure who matches the army’s aesthetic as Lord Ruthven. If anyone gives me grief about his breastplate I shall say it’s got warpstone in it or something. Life’s too short.

A few additional cuts have been made in terms of magic banners, unit champions and so on and so forth. Magic banners may yet be restored to the Knight units at the cost of some Dire Wolves.

 

Lord Ruthven: Von Carstein Vampire Lord: extra magic level (Lore of Death), Biting Blade, Ring of the Night, Walking Death, Aura of Dark Majesty435 points

Walravius: Master Necromancer: extra magic level (Necromancy), Cloak of Mists and Shadows, Power Stone: 290 points

Rosenkratz: Necromancer: extra magic level (Necromancy), Book of Arkhan, Power Stone: 150 points

Guildenstern: Necromancer: extra magic level (Necromancy), Rod of Flaming Death: 150 points

Whispering Nell: Wraith: Cursed Book: 140 points

Lord Ruthven’s First of Foot: 20 Skeletons: spears, light armour, champion, musician and standard bearer: 245 points

Lord Ruthven’s Second of Foot: 20 Skeletons: light armour, champion, musician and standard bearer: 225 points

Templehof Pals: 10 Zombies: musician and standard bearer: 75 points

Verhungernhund Claw: 5 Dire Wolves: 50 points

Verhungernhund Fang: 5 Dire Wolves: 50 points

Order of the Black Cross: 8 Black Knights: barding, champion, musician and standard bearer: 240 points

Order of the Crimson Wing: 8 Black Knights: barding, champion, musician and standard bearer: 240 points

Black Monks of St. Herod: 5 Spirit Hosts: 325 points

Cora: Banshee: 90 points

Clarice: Banshee: 90 points

Emmanuelle’s Hearse: Black Coach: 200 points

TOTAL: 2995 points
Tower of Power: 13 dice
Pile of Denial: 8 dice

[WFB] Battle Report: Lord Ruthven’s Reanimation

My second engagement on the eve of Nineteen Crows was something equally eccentric, and this time I have slightly more adequate notes. Joseph Bain of tournament fame had suggested Reclaim the Stones, a scenario from the Albion campaign: always keen to skip out the Borehammer, I’d accepted his vulgar challenge. Although I was going in with 3000 points to his 2000 I would be doing so with a split-up Vampire Counts army (never a good idea) and Joseph had tricked out his list to give me a run for my money in the magic department.

He had:

Wizard Lord of the Celestial College: level 4 wizard (Lore of the Heavens: Second Sign of Amul, Storm of Kronos, Comet of Cassandora and… something else), Hex Staff
Warrior-Priest of Sigmar: heavy armour, shield, barded warhorse, Sword of Might, Van Horstman’s Speculum
Warrior-Priest of Sigmar: great weapon, Armour of Meteoric Iron
Master Engineer: repeater pistol

8 Knights of the Inner Circle: full cavalry kit, champion, musician, and standard bearer (War Banner)
10 Handgunners
10 Handgunners
5 Pistoliers: champion

18 Greatswords: champion, musician, and standard bearer (Griffon Standard)
Mortar
Great Cannon

Helblaster Volley Gun
Giant

I was rocking:

Margarita: Vampire Countess; level 2 wizard (Lore of Death: Dark Hand, Steal Soul, Doom and Darkness), Sword of Striking, Ring of the Night, Spell Familiar and Summon Wolves.
The Master: Master Necromancer: level 4 wizard (Necromancy: Invocation of Nehek, Hand of Dust, Gaze of Nagash, Vanhel’s Danse Macabre), Wristbands of Black Gold, Black Periapt
Rosenkratz: Necromancer: level 2 wizard (Necromancy: Invocation of Nehek, Vanhel’s Danse Macabre), Book of Arkhan, Power Stone
Guildenstern: Necromancer: level 2 wizard (Necromancy: Invocation of Nehek, Vanhel’s Danse Macabre), Rod of Flaming Death
Whispering Nell: Wraith: Cursed Book
Walravius: Wight Lord: Army Standard, Flayed Hauberk

Templehof Militia: 30 Skeletons with light armour, spears, champion, standard and musician
Templehof Levy: 25 Zombies with standard and musician
Hounds of Verhungern: 10 Dire Wolves with champion
The Local People: 10 Ghouls with champion

Drakenhof Templars: 12 Black Knights with barding, champion, standard (Banner of the Barrows) and musician
Black Monks of St. Herod: 5 Spirit Hosts

Cora: Banshee
Clarice: Banshee
Lord Ruthven’s Repose: Black Coach

The scenario forced me to split my army down the middle and with only one General to go around that made the choice of what to slap where pretty straightforward.

The A Team, consisting of everything that either can’t march (the Black Coach), can march regardless of proximity to the General (Ghouls), or is fast enough to reach combat even if it doesn’t march (Black Knights, Dire Wolves), plus the Master to give everything a bit of a Necromantic fillip. I wasn’t particularly optimistic about this flank’s chances but if they could corral Joseph’s army to an extent until the infantry showed up to win the game for me I’d be happy.

The B team, consisting of everything which needed proximity to the General (that’s Spirit Hosts, Skeletons and Zombies) plus everything that would want to hide in a Skeleton or Zombie unit (that’s all the characters except the Master). I also deployed the Banshees on this side on the grounds that they are supposed to stick close by the Battle Standard Bearer to help them survive the odd round of combat.

I was deeply worried about Joseph’s Greatsword unit led by the Warrior Priest as, even with closed lists, I had a reasonable idea what they’d be packing (it’s always the Griffon Standard, show me an Empire player who doesn’t). My plan with those was to pin them down with Spirits for as long as physically possible, while my Banshees whittled away at them and I dealt with the elements of Joseph’s army I felt I could kill, which was basically all the war machines and possibly the Knights if I got lucky.

It started well as I realised I could potentially tie up the Helblaster crew and the Greatswords with one charge, and had enough Vanhel’s Danses to pull it off. Sadly Joseph’s heap of Dispel dice for having all his casters within the Circle proved more than up to the challenge and I was left feeling a bit overexposed.

I did have a chance to turn things on their head very early as Joseph’s wizard had decided not to chill with the Greatswords and, as a unit all by himself, was an eligible target for Banshee screams. A Leadership 8 target. Sadly he managed to survive with one wound left and promptly buried himself in the Greatswords next turn, while their attendant Priest worked on restoring those Wounds (but at least he wasn’t casting Soulfire). My second Banshee didn’t have the range to finish the job but did manage to shoo Joseph’s Pistoliers straight off the board with their first Panic test of the day.

The fast flank started going to bits as soon as Joseph’s turn began: my Ghouls were vapourised by a Mortar shot and his Giant lumbered out to engage my Dire Wolves quick sharp, while Joseph’s Knights (“are they Inner Circle, mate?” “no, they’re in a line!”) marched up to point blank range of mine so their Priest could let rip with Soulfire. I didn’t manage to Dispel it and the odds between the units tipped rather dramatically as a whole five Black Knights went to the bad place in one go.

At the top of turn two, I would have to get spicy.

Fortunately, the Master was out of the Knights’ charge arc, and so I formulated a plan. My Knights would charge Joseph’s Knights and sink as many attacks as they could into the Warrior Priest (finishing him off with a Killing Blow as it happens). The Master would sneak around their flank and cast a Danse on the Black Coach, bringing it close to the circle; close enough that one of my three other Danses would surely go off and propel the overpriced paperweight into the middle of Joseph’s army. Even if it flubbed its charge it would hopefully last long enough to spread some tasty Terror around and knock off a few war machine crews…

The plan went off, although it took every single Power die I had, my Power Stone and the Book of Arkhan (ran out first time, as usual) to get the chain of Danses through. By the time the charges, tests, redirections and post-combat panickings were done, Joseph’s artillery crew were all dead or engaged (the Spirit Host having also ploughed in to do its job on the Helblaster), half his Handgunners had been run down and the others were fleeing, and I’d even discovered that the Banshees can scream freely into a combat they are not personally engaged in (although if they are personally engaged, they have to scream at what they’re fighting).

The only fly in my ointment was that loose Giant roaming around the back of my fast flank. I hate Giants. I hate them so much. There’s no way of predicting what they’ll do, but their Stubbornness plus Terror-causing tendencies plus the heinous “automatically win by two” Yell and Bawl habit means it generally amounts to “not bloody go anywhere whilst being too tough to shift.” In theory a good Hand of Dust will sort them out but somehow I never quite want to risk a Necromancer in picking fights with them.

Joseph renewed hostilities by bringing down a Comet of Cassandora into the big combat in the centre. Once the dust from that had settled, one of my Banshees was wounded, half my Spirit Host were frazzled, and a whole rank of his own Greatswords had also gone to meet Morr in the great beyond. Storm of Cronos took yet more wounds off the ghosts, but not enough to open my charge lane.

I forget who charged who here: I think it must have been Joseph going for me, after I moved my Necromancers into the stone circle to take advantage of those extra dice for myself, and I know for a fact I wheeled the Coach around to get away from the Giant as best it could. I would surely have charged my Skeletons into what was left of those Greatswords if I could, so I’m forced to assume the Spirit Host died on my turn somehow after blocking my lane for the duration?

In any case, the combats went as well as might be expected. Depleted Knights couldn’t finish off many Zombies, what remained of the Greatswords didn’t have the mustard to fight off a Vampire Countess (who overran into the Master Engineer before he got any ideas about priming the Helblaster for one last volley) and the Giant didn’t quite finish off my Black Coach but undoubtedly would have done given another turn. Joseph had managed to call down another Comet of Cassandora before his Wizard Lord bought it, but sadly it didn’t land before the game formally ended. Sad face.

A Vampire Countess, Battle Standard Bearer, two Necromancers and two Banshees within the Circle is more than enough to overcome the opposition of some leaderless Knights and the dead weight of those Zombies: plenty of points, enough for a Victory to the Vampire Counts!

Hots and Nots

Warrior Priests are softer than I remember them being. I think I fixate too much on the damage potential of Soulfire and overlook that they’re really not that much harder than a regular Wizard. The Banshees remain excellent and become more so the more I become familiar with their targeting rules; there are all sorts of cheeky things they can do through not being a conventional shooting attack. This time, the Lore of Death was a mixed bag: I didn’t regret taking it but I do think Steal Soul is a spell you need to cast every turn or kind of forget about even trying (although it’s hard to calculate magical potential in a scenario as asymmetric as this one).

Necromancy continues to have an embarrassingly short range – even the 24″ is not that far when your caster is on foot and the board is six feet across, and the really important spells cap out at 18″. Also, as I predicted, the split deployment was a mare. Vampire Counts really need to stick together in a clump around the General and everything I left out on the other flank, including the Master, was basically a goner. The Coach only made it through because I had enough Danses to save the damn thing and while it did actually get to grow its scythes in this game, it only killed useless chaffy Handgunners and war machine crew it would normally (probably) never have got near. I’m still not convinced.

One thing I’ll add in conclusion is that this game really hammered home how great the sixth edition magic system is, as long as nobody’s boring and brings four Dispel Scrolls and decides to try and take it out of the match altogether. The dice fencing aspect brought a lot of laughs, especially with the sheer number of dice Joseph’s army was generating within the circle, and yet my superior starting pool kept me in the running right the way through. An unusual game against a heavily tailored list, but one of the most fun I’ve had since this whole sixth edition revival thing really got going. Kudos to Joseph for being such a sport about it all.

Next up: teardown and rebuild of the Vampire Counts list, then it’s back to homebrew: Bloodspell Extended Edition is coming along nicely and I intend to have developer’s notes ready alongside the book itself for a December launch. Be seeing you!

[WFB] Battle Report: A Wrong Turn on the Road to Zavastra

Just before all this malarkey with Nineteen Crows kicked into high gear, I was in London. The London Book Fair had been cancelled but I was there anyway, and had a spare day to play some socially-distanced no-handshakes Warhammer at the new Dark Sphere ‘megastore’ in Shepherd’s Bush. Also risking life and limb for some last jollity before the end were Niklaus Meurke (known for The Old World Lives podcast) and Joseph Bain (known for organising a bunch of London and Midlands sixth ed meetups while we in the West and Wales have sat on our asses since EGG).

We agreed on 3000 points and no Pitched Battles. I took a lot of photos but not a lot of notes (something has to suffer if I’m to concentrate on actually playing the game) and it’s now been long enough that I don’t remember enough for a blow by blow recap.

First up for the motley was Niklaus, with something pretty unusual.

Deployment: KISLEV.

Niklaus brought the Tzarina Katarina, a unit of Kossars with a Boyar, three units of Winged Lancers with Boyars, three units of Ungol Horse Archers (one quite large), the Gryphon Legion (packing War Banner) and Bronzino’s Galloper Guns. I no longer recall which Boyars had which kit (one definitely had an Enchanted Shield) or exactly what the Kislev spells are called (but Katarina had a breath weapon, a wall effect, a self-enhancement that made her fly and improved her combat stats, and a basic magic missile).

Given the sheer haste of his forces we opted for the Breakthrough scenario with him attacking.

Deployment: Sylvania..

I would be using the same list for both games: fortunately, I have written that down at least.

Margarita: Vampire Countess; level 2 wizard (Lore of Death: Dark Hand, Death Dealer, Doom and Darkness), Sword of Striking, Ring of the Night, Spell Familiar and Summon Wolves.
The Master: Master Necromancer: level 4 wizard (Necromancy: Invocation of Nehek, Hellish Vigour, Gaze of Nagash, Curse of Years), Wristbands of Black Gold, Black Periapt
Rosenkratz: Necromancer: level 2 wizard (Necromancy: Invocation of Nehek, Curse of Years), Book of Arkhan, Power Stone
Guildenstern: Necromancer: level 2 wizard (Necromancy: Invocation of Nehek, Vanhel’s Danse Macabre), Rod of Flaming Death
Whispering Nell: Wraith: Cursed Book
Walravius: Wight Lord: Army Standard, Flayed Hauberk

Templehof Militia: 30 Skeletons with light armour, spears, champion, standard and musician
Templehof Levy: 25 Zombies with standard and musician
Hounds of Verhungern: 10 Dire Wolves with champion
The Local People: 10 Ghouls with champion

Drakenhof Templars: 12 Black Knights with barding, champion, standard (Banner of the Barrows) and musician
Black Monks of St. Herod: 5 Spirit Hosts

Cora: Banshee
Clarice: Banshee
Lord Ruthven’s Repose: Black Coach

Opening gambits! As you can see, Niklaus didn’t go hell for leather or anything, opting for a sedate advance that kept his options (and his cannons’ fire lanes) open. For my part I raised a nice big blob of Zombies in the path of the central Lancers, shoved my Banshees up to begin the business of screaming a few rank bonuses away and standing in charge lanes, and made my usual ponderous forays forward. Sadly I made one quite major boo-boo with my early movement! The Spirit Host didn’t quite have the pace to get through that house in front of them, we didn’t think a Unit Strength 15 swarm should be able to pile into a small cottage, so I had to wheel them around it instead and leave a flank pointing at the Gryphon Legion, who took full advantage (as one might expect). Although they didn’t have a magic weapon to their name they did have a rank, a flank, a standard, a War Banner and superior Unit Strength, ensuring they’d win the round by at least two. Just to vex me even further, the Spirits’ formation wouldn’t allow me to move any extra models into combat and out of the Knights’ way, as there were no rear ranks for the models to be moved from!

I would have to do something decisive, and so I did something decisive. Here’s what the board looked like when I was done pushing my luck.

 

Predictably, the Black Coach had eaten a cannonball despite my best efforts, and Niklaus had swept away its attendant Ghouls with a Lancer charge and gone careening on into the Master, who was suddenly regretting being so stingy with his defence budget. “I don’t need the Cloak of Mists and Shadows,” I’d said, “he’ll never end up in combat anyway”.

In the centre, I’d been more successful. I Summoned some Wolves to threaten Niklaus’ cannons. He was forced to overinvest somewhat in destroying them, with two Horse Archer units and Bronzino himself turning around to finish off three mouldy lupines. I also pressed forward with my Wraith: she abandoned her post and joined up with the Zombies I’d just raised instead, preparing to deter the Lancers’ charge. BUT…

Her proximity to the Kislveite lines meant a number of Terror tests had to be taken. Niklaus passed most of them, except the test for the Gryphon Legion, who suddenly turned and pelted it out of combat! Suddenly, his left flank was looking a lot less secure, with the Black Knights and Spirits poised to charge across each other and potentially mess up two of his large Lancer blocks in one go…

Sadly, the Black Knights didn’t quite make it, but the Spirits chased down the fleeing Gryphon Legion, while on my other flank, Margarita and her associates absolutely flattened Niklaus’ Kossars in combat. I wasn’t terribly worried about the Knights having to eat a charge from Winged Lancers: with Toughness 4 and a 2+ save they were better equipped to laugh it off than most of my troops! The Master had also managed to hold out, somehow, and was still lending his formidable bucket o’ dice to my spellcasting efforts. This will become significant shortly.

 

What you see here is the impact of a successfully cast Doom and Darkness on the Tzarina and her big unit of Horse Archers, followed up by a double-six Banshee scream right into them. The Tzarina was left on one wound, although her “turn me into a frosty phoenix” spell ensured she made short work of Clarice in the fightin’ phase.

A “top of the midgame to ya” kind of image. My wall o’ summoned Zombies were now long gone, but a new block had joined them to protect the flank of the Skeleton unit and deter those surviving Lancers from trying anything.

After beating back the Lancers’ charge for a modest four casualties, my Knights (and Spirits) were now hopelessly out of position. Unable to march, they played no further part in the hostilities, while Niklaus’ Horse Archers finished off my Dire Wolves.

Not wanting to risk a rear charge from the Horse Archers on my Skeletons, I opted to try and block their lanes with the Wight Lord, whose 1+ save was enough to eat their attacks and, thanks to his Battle Standard, not that fussed about being outnumbered either. If the Tzarina tried anything he was done for but that would leave her in range of all my magic missiles.

Finally freed of Zombies, the central Lancer unit ploughed on into my Necromancers’ bunker, while the rest of Niklaus’ units ran hell for leather into my deployment zone, trying to salvage as many warm bodies (and necessary points total Broken Through) as they could.

The Tzarina elected to try something quite bold at this point, moving in to try and pin the Zombies down and save her cavalry. Sadly, even her frosty fun bird spell and breath weapon (dispelled) didn’t avail her and she ended up fleeing back into the tightening noose of Undead infantry, leaving a ragged handful of survivors to trickle past as the Zombies focused their attentions on her, the greater prize. The middle block of Lancers legged it too: Niklaus just couldn’t catch a break.

Victory to the Vampire Counts!

To Niklaus’ credit this was going to be a hard one for him to win on the victory condition. His individual units were so cheap and comparatively fragile that he’d struggle to get 1000 points’ worth through my lines unscathed without detouring at least one Lancer block around me, and with this much stuff on this size table there wasn’t really room for him to do that. My conservative approach to Vampire Generals meant he wasn’t likely to get the sudden death win from killing Margarita and polishing off crumbling units, either. In the early turns my poor movement and his speed advantage might have freed up some space for him, but that fortunate Terror test brought the game back to me.

Hots and Nots

The Lore of Death absolutely proved its worth here. I’m pretty sure Death Dealer was instrumental in seeing off those Lancers at the end, and of course the Banshee scream + Doom and Darkness power move came off about as perfectly as it could. Taking a Spell Familiar on Margarita was a sound choice as well, ensuring that I had a Death spell worth casting even though I only had a single caster.

However: the army really started to struggle magically when the Master dropped off. I wasn’t particularly threatened by a single level 4 caster, but I was also struggling to get any spells past her with only level 2s throwing a handful of dice around the place. Also, the sheer width of table involved here and the breadth on which I had to engage Niklaus’ forces meant my most expensive and powerful units were stranded once they’d broken through. Granted I should have set Margarita up a little more centrally and I probably could have saved the Master’s flank from collapsing, but I still found myself wanting for Aura of Dark Majesty towards the end of this one.

[WFB] Getting Schooled by Dr. Shiny

Ten years ago this month, I started teaching my arch-rival and nemesis and bestest friend ever Lawrence how to play Warmachine. I also started a blog, because I’d come home at the drop of a hat to start my teacher training and left the Warmachine scene of Greater Manchester behind and frankly, I was feeling a bit lonely. It’s been a long ten years and it hasn’t always been much fun, and a lot of things have had to be left behind in the meantime.

But not everything.

Lawrence and I go way, way back. We’ve known each other for well over twenty years. And in that time, Lawrence’s long-suffering, long-serving Skaven – the first opponents for my putative Army of Sylvania fifteen years ago last Christmas – have never managed to beat my Vampire Counts.

Until now.

Preamble

I won’t say that playing Lawrence again was the only reason I went down to the Exeter Games Gathering, but it was certainly up there. It’s only an hour’s train ride for him, so he had no excuse. By the time he arrived I was struggling to formulate a coherent thought and so we opted for a nice straightforward Pitched Battle, bo-ring as it might be.

I was testing out my new “three casters? take Death!” approach and, at the last moment, dropped both my Bound Spells in favour of a single base Spirit Host because I felt myself wanting for chaff. The resultant army looked like this:

  • Countess Carmilla: level 2 wizard, Death magic (Death Dealer, Wind of Death), Sword of Striking, Ring of the Night, Black Periapt, Aura of Dark Majesty
  • Rosenkratz: level 2 wizard, Necromancy (Invocation of Nehek, Hand of Dust)
  • Guildenstern: level 2 wizard, Necromancy (Invocation of Nehek, Gaze of Nagash)
  • Whispering Nell: Wraith with Cursed Book
  • 30 Skeletons: light armour, spears, full command
  • 20 Zombies: standard and musician
  • 10 Huntsmen
  • Spirit Host (1 base)
  • 8 Black Knights: barding, full command
  • 8 Black Knights: barding, full command
  • Banshee
  • Banshee

Lawrence, it turned out, was also testing out a new approach, which he’d never had the balls to attempt back in the day:

  • Grey Seer Makkiavelli: level 4 wizard (Skitterleap, Pestilent Breath, Vermintide, Plague): Death Globes, whatever the Skaven equivalent of the Wristbands of Black Gold are called
  • Fooko: Warlock Engineer with all the trimmings plus Storm Daemon and Dispel Scroll
  • Derridaa: Warlock Engineer with all the trimmings plus Warpscroll
  • Kirkegaad: Chieftain with shield, heavy armour, Bands of Power and Sword of Battle
  • 30 Clanrats: full command, Warpfire Thrower team
  • 30 Clanrats: full command, Ratling Gun team
  • 4 Giant Rat packs
  • 5 Rat Swarm bases
  • 10 Night Runners: slings, additional hand weapons
  • 28 Plague Monks: additional hand weapons, full command
  • Warp Lightning Cannon
  • 6 Plague Censer Bearers

This is, as you’ll appreciate, quite a toothy Skaven army. I remember Lawrence’s Skaven not being this tuned. It’s my own fault, I know perfectly well that plastic Plague Monks have happened since the day, I was there when he built the cannon, and Skaven have ALWAYS had the option of four Warp Lightnings in a turn. It’s just… a lot of that slipped my mind, lulled out of consciousness by Lawrence’s relentless whinging about how rubbish his Skaven are. And back in the day, I was being carried along by a bullshit Storm of Chaos list which could put Magic Resistance on everything worth zapping and yeet three units of Dire Wolves into the back of his army on turn two. This sort of thing annoyed and/or worried Lawrence and left me able to coast over the top of the Skaven blocks quite effectively once the Rat Swarm was out of the way.

That’s why I felt confident enough to set up like this.

The plan was to set up a picket line with the Huntsmen, fleeing when Lawrence’s troops started to close, and pull a unit of Knights over to that side as well, with the remaining units jammed up his grill to occupy the Plague Monks and Rats. And that worked fine.

But that was the entire extent of the plan. The rest of my game boiled down to “try and win a magic-missile-off with the army which has the best magic missile in the game and can cast it three times, two with better-than-average odds of Irresistible Force, every turn, and also outshoots me by a country mile.”

And the other thing I hadn’t expected was that Lawrence would Skitterleap his Grey Seer into the back of my army and proceed to chain cast Vermintide and Pestilent Breath into the back of my Skeleton unit two turns on the trot. This after he wiped half of them out with an Irresistible Plague on the very first turn.

Frankly, it was courteous of him to blow up his own Warpfire Thrower, kill a rank of Clanrats with an overenthusiastic Vermintide, fall short with all but one of his Warp Lightning Cannon shots, and have Makkiavelli drop his Death Globes on his own feet twice. That, plus panicking his Night Runners off the table and making the one good move at the start, at least kept me in the game until the fourth round. At that point, once my Knights had been shot to shit trying to get into a decent position, I opted to call it a day.

Maybe if I’d had a bigger Spirit Host, and a Book of Arkhan somewhere to guarantee me a Vanhel’s Danse to cast… maybe if I’d not decided to play a defensive game against an army that had no reason to close the distance when it could slaughter me from 18-24″ away… maybe if I’d had a better night’s sleep beforehand… maybe if I’d treated my oldest friend with something more than contempt and actually planned to give him a proper fight…

If ifs and buts were candies and nuts we’d all be diabetic, I suppose. I did consider leaving the army in a skip or something on the way home – it’s been fifteen years, and I often feel trapped by nostalgia, like I’m trying to get back to 2004 and pretend the time between then and now didn’t happen, and I can’t deny the symbolism of anniversaries and old enemies and final defeats.

It’s been ten years and in that time the whole ‘hobby blogger’ phenomenon has boomed and bust. I effectively put the blog on life support back in 2018, but resolved to give it a final year and a fair go, and this is the best note to go out on, I think. A couple of lads from Plymouth shoving some toy soldiers around, and walking to the station in the rain.

Once I built a railroad; now it’s done.

[WFB] Battle Report: Von Carsteins at Caerwysg

WFB Sixth Edition.
6000 points.
Vampire Counts vs. Bretonnians and Dogs of War.

Frankly, if that doesn’t wake you up inside, I don’t know what will. It certainly kept me going for about eight hours, even though I hadn’t actually slept for two nights on the trot and was fast succumbing to ye pestilence and, frankly, was only kept functional by a hideous cocktail of OG Relentless and cranberry juice. Lee hadn’t had the best night either, with two fire alarms going off in his hotel during the wee hours, but damn it all we’d been planning this for weeks and we weren’t going to let anything stop us now.

Doesn’t that make it all worthwhile?

Neither force was what you’d call “legal”, although the conventions regarding numbers of Lords and Heroes, as well as Core, Special and Rare troops under them, were still obeyed. The goal was for myself and Lee to plonk our entire painted collections on the board and give the other attendees of yer actual Exeter Games Gathering something to gawp at in between doing each other over. If you have a 6’x4′ table for the whole day, you might as well make use of it!

We cobbled together a makeshift scenario by mashing up the Flank Attack and Capture ones from the WFB rulebook. Flank Attack would make the most of Lee’s divided forces by not actually considering them the same thing; Capture would relieve us of the need to calculate or even consider Victory Points, with victory determined by Who Was Closest To The Shed at the end. The well-paid and foolishly courageous Dogs of War would start entrenched behind enough linear obstacles to make a Dwarf blush (to ensure I couldn’t sweep them all away by turn two), while the Bretonnians would advance from a flank of Lee’s choosing at the top of turn three (giving me a turn to at least brace for impact before the inevitable charge).

We needed something suitably high stakes to draw these mighty forces together, so I elected not to bring the Carstein Ring, and instead place it within the retirement cottage of one Felix Mann, Esq, once of Altdorf and now long deceased. Why was this important? Look at who showed up…

Vampire Counts (attacking)

  • Mannfred von Carstein
  • Lord Ruthven (Vampire Lord on Zombie Dragon; some kit which ended up being totally irrelevant)
  • Countess Carmilla (Vampire Countess on foot; Summon Bats and Spectral Attendants)
  • Sir Francis Varney (Vampire Thrall in Wolf Form)
  • Walravius (Wight Lord Battle Standard Bearer, waving the Hell Banner about)
  • Whispering Nell (Wraith with the Cursed Book)
  • Rosenkratz, Guildenstern and Haeckl (three Necromancers with a Power Stone and Dispel Scroll apiece)
  • 30 Skeleton Spearmen
  • 20 Skeleton Crossbowmen
  • 20 Zombies
  • 2 (independent) Bat Swarms
  • 10 Ghouls
  • 10 Huntsmen
  • 10 Dire Wolves
  • 20 Drakenhof Guard (with the Screaming Banner)
  • 28 Black Knights (one unit of 12 with the Drakenhof Banner, two units of 8 with nowt fancy to their name)
  • 1 very large Spirit Host
  • 2 Banshees
  • 2 Black Coaches

Dogs of War (defending)

  • Lorenzo Lupo
  • an unnamed but courageous Hireling Wizard, late of Bretonnia no doubt, brandishing the Staff of Sorcery (Lee’s spare Damsel coming out to play)
  • a foolhardy Paymaster
  • Leopold’s Leopard Company
  • the Marksmen of Miragliano
  • a Pikeman company whose resemblance to the Alcatini Fellowship is entirely coincidental
  • an off-brand Crossbowman company
  • Tichi-Huichi’s Raiders
  • Bronzino and a Galloper Gun
  • Dadallo and the Birdmen of Catrazza
  • Lumpin Croop and his Fighting Cocks
  • the Giants of Albion and Hengist

Bretonnians (flanking)

  • King Louen Leoncoeur
  • Morgiana la Fay
  • The Green Knight
  • a Paladin on a Pegasus
  • a Paladin not on a Pegasus (bearing the Battle Standard)
  • two footslogging Paladins
  • a slightly overwhelmed Damsel with the Silver Mirror
  • half a dozen Grail Knights (playing escort to the Fay and the BSB)
  • eight Knights Errant
  • two dozen Bowmen
  • a dozen Men At Arms
  • two fistfuls of Mounted Yeomen
Lee felt himself stretched pretty thin by this engagement, but had the advantage of a strong defensive position for his Pikemen and an excellent viewpoint for the Marksmen of Miragliano. His skirmishers occupied the wood on the left, while the Giants of Albion reluctantly divided their attentions, ready to counter-punch the oncoming horde.
Mannfred isn’t feeling very optimistic about his positioning, but he has the only Danse Macabre on the field, so without him the infantry will be lucky to reach the halfway line, and I’m not leaving him on his own without a cavalry unit to hide out in.
Lorenzo Lupo stares the Vampire Count down. These pikes are going nowhere!
In many ways my choice of flanking force was dictated by the terrain. My Huntsmen could only take cover behind this ruined chapel, while the Black Coaches didn’t have any other way into the lines that wouldn’t take them into a hedge and certain destruction. The Dire Wolves are over here because they’re still pretty nippy even if Mannfred can’t help them march; the Black Knights will turn into the bulk of the army and pick up speed later. The Spirit Host is just out of sight on the left; if the Bretonnians show up on that side, I’m confident that 24 Ethereal wounds will at least slow them down.
On the other flank, I planned to have these Ghouls spread out to block the Bretonnians should they show up, while Ruthven is there to deliver Terror, dragon breath and Death Magic into the heart of the Dogs’ line. Allegedly.

We both figured the Dogs of War would need a lot of luck to make it through the game, but things would doubtless turn Lee’s way when the Bretonnians arrived. Were we right? Read on…

Opening Gambits (Turns 1 and 2)

My advance was immediately checked when the Green Knight showed up on turn one! The ethereal crew don’t fancy their chances any more, and to be honest I was already thinking of this flank as a write-off. My suspicions were confirmed when the Galloper Gun smashed one coach to powder with its first damn shot, and the Green Knight spent three turns making Spirits go bye-bye. Lee’s rolls for the git’s Dolorous Blade or whatever it’s called were terrifying; six, six and five extra attacks in a row!
Mannfred drove his Knights headlong into the Pikes. Not the best idea he’s ever had, especially when I realised they didn’t actually have the “sod your obstacles I hit you on threes” standard after all, but Pikemen are only WS and S 3; I’d get to roll some hefty armour saves, and with a bit of luck I’d have Lord Ruthven joining them in that conveniently dragon-shaped hole on their flank. Sadly, Lee managed to dispel Vanhel’s Danse Macabre and cast The Bear’s Anger on his Paymaster, making him big and mean enough to hold off a whole unit of raised Zombies all by himself! What you see here is the impact of static combat resolution on Knights who’ve achieved nothing but a dead unit champion.
On the left flank, the charging Giant stumbled as my Hunstmen did a bit of baiting and fleeing. Hengist was now open to a charge from the Dire Wolves, and my Black Coach had a lane on Bologs (or is it Cachtorr?). Impact hits weren’t enough to fell the brute, however, and it proceeded to Yell and Bawl for three turns on the trot. Automatically losing combat by two each time was enough to grind both units into dust. BORING!
Something similar happened on this side. On its charge, Cachtorr (or is it Bologs?) Yelled and Bawled, denying Lord Ruthven and his faithful steed any chance to get a wound in edgeways. On his next turn, Lord Ruthven proceeded to Miscast, lobbing himself out of the combat and narrowly avoiding the hedge!

Bretonnia Rides (Turns 3 and 4)

The Knights arrived, and promptly… achieved nothing for an entire turn, as the Yeomen failed their fear test, refused to charge my Skeleton Crossbowmen, and tied up the far braver units behind them. Similar events occured in the midfield, where the Men At Arms wanted nothing to do with fighting Ghouls and the Peasant Bowmen learned that actually, Ghouls are quite dangerous in a fight.
Morgiana took exactly one swig from her magical chalice, chugging the lot and hurling a Comet of Cassandora into the middle of the undead lines! As if that wasn’t enough, Mannfred’s attempt at Hellish Vigour to improve his Knights’ odds of crossing the fence was met with the Silver Mirror, dispelling the spell and putting a wound on him to boot. Even the Zombies were unable to turn the tide, as Lorenzo Lupo generated sufficient surplus wounds from challenging the Black Knights’ champion to cancel out his unit’s loss of rank bonus and draw the combat!

Desperate Times (Turns 5 and 6)

In response, the Undead lines turned. The Huntsmen rallied and ran to intercept the Bretonnians, along with the leftmost unit of Black Knights. Their counterparts on the right charged Bologs (or Cachtorr) in an effort to save the Dragon from another round of Yelling and Bawling. Banshees and Wraiths were hurled toward the centre of the field in an effort to put the Cursed Book in play and whittle down the Dogs of War further, but a nasty surprise or two lay in wait. Firstly: Leopold’s Leopard Company are immune to psychology, and therefore to Banshee wails. Secondly…
Secondly, the Knights arrived too late. Cachtorr (or possibly Bologs) took matters in hand (or rather forehead), nutting the Zombie Dragon to death. I’d be pissed off about this, but “nutted to death by Giant” is a pretty epic way to go. The Knights didn’t quite manage to finish him off, he passed his Stubborn AF break test, and next turn King Louen charged and proceeded to go through the Knights like a woodchipper. In back, the Yeomen charged my summoned Zombies in the rear, breaking their ranks and buying Lorenzo Lupo another round…
… which he used to challenge Mannfred, taking the Count of Sylvania on mano-e-mano in the Classical style! Still hampered by the hedgerow which his Knights had yet to cross, Mannfred wasn’t quite able to strike down the mercenary general, while Lorenzo only landed two blows of his own; not enough to put Mannfred out of his misery.
On the other flank, Sir Francis Varney seized the day. An 18 inch charge and a 1+ armour save delivered him safely into the Crossbowmen, and three S7 attacks saw them broken before his onslaught.
The Drakenhof Guard produced impressive results in their charge against the Leopard Company. Although their Screaming Banner and Hell Banner power combo was wasted on the fearless pikemen, Leopold was cut down by a Killing Blow from the Guards’ Champion, and the Guard – aided by a timely cast of Death Dealer and Hellish Vigour – killed enough of the Leopard Company that they actually broke from combat on its own!
Even without Leopold, the Pikemen rallied, but this was do-or-die turn for the Vampire Counts and they didn’t let me down. Lord Ruthven charged and butchered the Mounted Yeomen, and the Drakenhof Guard were impelled into combat with an Irresistible Danse Macabre, turning both combats in favour of the Undead. Leopold’s men were run down, and while Lorenzo just about held his ground…
… the Paymaster was not so fortunate. Sir Francis was thirsty, and as the Paymaster fell beneath his blade, disaster struck the Dogs of War. Lorenzo, one of the Giants, and the Marksmen of Miragliano all failed their Panic tests and bolted, leaving the Sylvanians in control of the objective! And just to cap everything off, I managed to dispel the Comet.

There followed a chain of events which I was too tired to photograph, and I hope Lee can supply suitable imagery in good time. But here’s what happened.

Mannfred was finally able to cross the hedge and take control of the Mann residence. All he had to do was survive one last turn. To that end, he and all his Necromancers attempted to cast Invocations to restore him to full capacity of Wounds. Lee Dispelled Mannfred’s Invocation, and I failed to cast the other three. Suddenly, everything was back on the knife edge again.

In the middle ground, I was able to Summon Bats, redeploy Ghouls, and shove Skeletons forward so that Lee’s Knights had very few charge opportunities left.

The second Giant stumbled in its charge on Carmilla and her guard; about to Jump Up and Down, the drunken oaf ended up falling at Carmilla’s feet, and she took great pleasure in avenging her last outing against the Giants by cutting it down in person.

King Louen descended on the Necromancers, cutting their zombie bodyguard to ribbons but leaving the casters themselves alive.

Hope, such as it was, rested with one man…

Whirling his Delirious Blade about him, the Green Knight, immortal defender of Bretonnia, charged in and challenged the Vampire Count to single combat. Lacking any alternative, Mannfred drew his sword again and hoped against hope that he could prevail. It was not to be. The Ethereal care not for hedgerows, and so the Green Knight fought at full efficiency, liberating Mannfred from the mortal coil.

Hopefully, this epic final clash is not spoiled too much by my errant fingertip making its way into the photograph.

Defeat! Defeat at the very last round of combat on the very last turn! Honestly, I couldn’t ask for a better way to go out than that. When you’re playing a supervillain like Mannfred, hubris and trickery and defeat snatched from the jaws of victory by an immortal force of righteous fury is fitting and there’s no bones about it.

Lee was delighted at the chance to field all his forces together and for that matter so do I; one never normally gets to take things like Dragons and so many spellcasters that the Lore of Death on two of them doesn’t feel like a waste. On top of all that, it was a delightfully close game which could easily have gone either way, and if we played it again (ideally when we weren’t both half mad with sleep deprivation) I for one would do things a little differently.

I’d probably stack the cavalry on that open flank, and let the Spirits lead the charge into those pike blocks (since they don’t give a monkey’s chuff about hedges). That might leave my infantry lagging a bit, but to be honest, their job was to ferry the spellcasters and Wraith forward and then block as many charge lanes as possible. I wouldn’t change the list much, except for maybe slipping Call Winds onto Carmilla for the early turns… and of course, not leaving home without the Banner of the Barrows.

[Been Painting] Vampire Counts: This Post’s Words’ Worth Is Over Nine Thousand

In April, when I had money, I bought some reinforcements.
In May, when I had the opportunity, I seized upon a Bargain.
In June, before everything and its dog went wrong, I made some beginnings.
Four days ago, when necessity struck, I began anew.
Three days ago, things began to take shape.
Two days ago, certain losses were made good upon.
One day ago, we stood upon the brink of accomplishment.
Today?
TODAY WE RISE!

Because a picture is worth a thousand words. Geddit?

Instagram is more suited to this sort of thing. You can find me over there @propergoffic, same as the Twitter and the Twitch and almost everywhere else I care to be. But it would be churlish not to put them here, too, especially since I can actually link directly to images from here.

It’s strange. My wrists are fucked. I’m generally quite lethargic. And I don’t enjoy painting. But I can still speed paint like a trooper when I’m called upon to do so. Necessity fuels what obligation merely prolongs, and when I have a weekend of actual gaming ahead, Shit Gets Done. There are still touches that I’d like to touch: sticking some static grass on some bases, tinting some armour to at least pretend a harmony with the army (although I guess randomly different coloured Knights are an essential part of the Empire aesthetic), working out how to make the Huntsmen at all interesting (I think some browns? brown is never interesting though) – but that can come later.

Anyway, that’s what six thousand points of sixth edition Vampire Counts looks like. despite my best attempts, there are disparities in the composition of paint and the style with which one applies it and the circumstances in which particular figures have been ruined, so nothing matches quite as well as my inner perfectionist would like. But perfect is the enemy of “good enough” and “good enough” is good enough for me. It’s also good enough for Exeter Games Gathering this weekend, and since I set off for Exeter tomorrow and will be playing WFB by teatime, good enough will bloody well have to do.

The weekend’s game schedule looks like this, so far:

  • Joseph and his Dwarfs, 2000 points, nice easy teaching-feeling game for someone who hasn’t played much (any?) sixth edition
  • Lee and his Bretonnians/Dogs of War, 6000 points, yes I know but we want to bung our entire collections on the table and see what comes about.
  • Lawrence and his Skaven, 2000 points, because fate will come around at last and all endings are beginnings and I’m not travelling to within fifty miles of my longest-serving friend, arch-rival and nemesis without playing some WFB with him, it’s just not happening.

I don’t know if I’ll be up to doing “battle reports” in the full on and detailed sense – I prefer to concentrate on and enjoy the games rather than fuss around with photos and notes, and my hands are hurting just from typing up this relatively short post – but I’ll sort something out. Maybe rope Lawrence into co-writing a narrative report. We did that way back when, with our very first game. I’d post it in a heartbeat if I could actually FIND the damn thing.

I mean: there are still 20-odd Skeleton Swordsmen at the back there…

[WFB] Another Way To (Un)Die

Well, I made it. Slightly later than ideal, still just in time. 1500 points of painted Empire of Dust Tomb Kings, ready to be flung at the invading High Elves of Prince Panting this weekend and stage an incursion upon Dr. Shiny and his Bretonnians in September.

What fate awaits them after that I cannot say: I profoundly disliked painting them, probably because I had no vision for the army going in and only figured out what I shall laughingly call “the technique” on the last models, the Mummies, whom I genuinely abhor as being almost fucking impossible to rank up even with the traditional spacers. But if they’re fun to play with, they may be spared.

Do not look too closely at these Ushabti. You will see all the details I couldnae be arsed to paint proper like or mould lines I couldnae be arsed to clean up. I really didn’t care about this army. Nothing is prepped. It’s all been banged out in six months for the sake of a little variety.

These close-ups of the abominable Mummies may show the faded turquoise of their garments, which I FINALLY figured out how to do. They also show the three characters: Prince Thotmanho the Frequently Abbreviated (who actually looks quite nice, the swine), Bhakgamun the Liche Priest (whose staff is frankly not to be trusted) and an Icon Bearer who will get a name if I decide it’s worth taking an Icon Bearer again. They may also also show the Magic life counter I’m using to mark wounds, since this unit occupies a 4×5 formation even though only 2×6 of actual models are involved. They are REALLY hard to rank up. Quite characterful though.

Meat and potatoes, neither of which are involved in the daily habits of these units. Neither are bread and butter. But anyway; horrible mixed media Skeletons I haven’t filled because arseholes to that, but they look OK from four feet away when it’s cloudy out. And a Skull Chucker, cheerfully sized for fifth edition, dramatically undersized for anything else. I do quite like the rat as the extra crewman, as well as the flaming skull token I made to mark the shot.

You might be thinking I hate this army already. I don’t. It is very much built to be played, though, and the assembly and painting have been phoned in on a very big phone to that end.

The painting queue currently contains this Mausoleum terrain set, but once that’s done, I’d like to set up something a bit smaller scale and take my time on it, just to confirm that I can still paint. The Blood Bowl teams have been here the longest, but my Bad Squiddo stuff needs priming as it’s starting to discolour now some of it’s been unpainted for a year or two, and half a dozen Orc adventurers plus some Gothic horror vignettes may be just the palate cleanser I need after these big monotonous drybrush-and-ink fests. But first: GAME TIME.

[WFB] The Army of Sylvania (WD291/Storm of Chaos, 2004)

This is it, folx. This is the big one. I’ve been after this article for ages, since none of the PDFs I’ve been able to find are complete; I actually cracked and bought a copy, with my own money and everything.

This came along at exactly the right time.

I was in the process of starting out again, after the GCSE interregnum when “all that bleddy Warhammer” had been sacrificed on the altar of familial dissatisfaction. I’d just rebuilt my Chaos Space Marines for the Eye of Terror campaign and I was after a new WFB army and there, a month after the campaign results, was this none-more-goth business.

It would be a few more months before the actual rules dropped and crystallised my vague ambitions. I reproduce those too, largely to keep them in circulation and lend some context to future doings. In the event that Games Workshop puts this fifteen year old material for a no longer supported game line back into circulation through legitimate means, all they have to do is ask and I will happily take it down.

Put all of this together and you have the shape of my first army; no Ghouls or Necromancers (although I had the figure for one, hanging around from my Mordheim box), overequipped Skeletons and Zombies with every polearm the box could offer, and a veritable swarm of Wolves and Bats. One unit of Black Knights ’cause that’s all I could take. And a lot of kitbashed Skeleton Crossbowmen, which involved cutting Tomb King Archer hands off and then cutting the shafts of Empire Militia crossbows to fit on either side of them and somehow lining up the four small jittery pieces of plastic… I must have been mad.

I wonder…

Lord Ruthven’s Resumption

Lord Ruthven: Vampire Lord with extra magic level, Sword of Striking, Wristbands of Black Gold, Black Periapt and Summon Wolves
Carmilla: Vampire Thrall with Spectral Attendants and Earthbind
Sir Francis Varney: Vampire Thrall with Army Standard, Walking Death and Earthbind

Sir Francis Varney’s First of Foot: 24 Sylvanian Militia with spears and full command group
Templehof Pals: 24 Sylvanian Levy with halberds, standard bearer and musician
Bat Swarm
Bat Swarm
3 Fell Bats
10 Dire Wolves: Scouts, Doom Wolf

Black Coach
Black Coach

Order of the Black Cross: 8 Drakenhof Templars with barded Nightmares and Drakenhof Banner

I could very easily go to 3000 points, too. It’d only take adding the Spirit Host, a couple of Banshees, and either slapping a Dragon under Ruthven and promoting Carmilla to Countess, or adding Mannfred von Carstein as the second permitted Lord.

(Incidentally, if you’re wondering why the Thralls don’t have armour; they’re all the lightly-clad Mordheim figures who are blatantly not wearing any, and I am reluctant to stick shields and things on figures who might find themselves further ennobled to spellcasting and unarmoured status at the drop of a hat.)

There are a few odds and sods I’d like to replace. The Fell Bats, with some nice Reaper ones. My old foot Reiksgard, with some plastic Greatswords, who may be about to vanish from the miniature range, so I’d better get a shift on if I’m going to do that. And I’d like some Crossbowmen and Archers for doing the other Von Carstein theme force… but I’m in several minds about exactly where those should come from. We’ll talk about why next time.

[WFB] Lockjaw Does Dogcon (building for power and theme: Lachlan MacWhirter, WD264)

Partial? Me? Far from it. As we continue our trawl through the Silver Age of White Dwarf*, I turn the ship toward the competitive end of the spectrum and go off about an article I never read at the time. It’s Australian, you see, and since I live literally half a world away from the land where beer does flow and men chunder, I never had the chance. But I do know who Lachlan MacWhirter is, if only because I avidly read Alex Kin-Wilde’s battle reports before the Warhammer Forum took its final nosedive. The point is he was quite good, and that he thinks about armies in a way that I think about armies.

You will notice that this army is not a photocopy special. There is thought put into what it will be like to play with and against, and how to ensure it does well, but there is also thought put into who leads it and why the force is the way it is.

I bring this up because there’s a nasty, pernicious tendency among certain elements of the wargaming community to pretend that certain things are anathema. Opposed. Mutually irreconcilable. Like a Venn diagram where the orbs remain utterly parted, lest their touching blast a hole in our tiny minds the size of Belgium.

You often hear “having fun” and “playing to win” pitched into these false dichotomies, along with “crunch” and “fluff”, and in role playing circles you hear “rollplaying” and “roleplaying.” My favourite one one is named the Stormwind Fallacy, after a Wizards of the Coast forumite who described and debunked it beautifully**.

The Stormwind Fallacy is the claim that one who optimises his character is, de facto, a bad roleplayer. The claim is wrong, false, and otherwise incorrect because number-crunching and make-believe are quite different skill sets and they can co-exist happily in the same brain tissue and the one does not in any way detract from the other. The fact that most people are more skilled in or inclined toward one direction than the other does not mean they are automatically exclusive.

And in wargaming-land, the same applies. It is not impossible to produce an army which is powerful, efficient, effective, and also entirely on-theme and fun to play with and against. People will claim otherwise. They will claim that “competitive” is anathema to some other nebulously defined concept. Often, they are talking about their own preference for leaning in one direction or another and elevating that to the status of universal truth – which it does not deserve.

Look at that! He’s written backstory, for pity’s sake (and just enough for it not to become weary, too)! True, he’s put a lot of thought into gearing and tricking out his Vampire, and to the roles that will be performed on table by his units, but you can’t pretend that there isn’t character there.

You may, if cynical, suspect that this is done because there are bonus points to be had at the tournament in question for turning up with a themed army in which the theme is transparent and illustrated with some associated text, and I say this is no bad thing. Let game mechanics make real the ideologies of the people what it is who make them. A system that rewards the desired behaviour is a good system.

I don’t have masses to say about the army itself, except that I’d probably have gone for the Vampire Lord and damned the consequences, but I do want to hover my digit over this notion of spending half your points on Core units (that the rest of the sections put together do not outnumber them). I don’t think I’ve ever done that, outside of fifth edition Chaos armies which, er, sort of had to work like that unless you were pulling something extremely niche with the summoning rules for Greater Daemons. There are eighty Skeletons in this army and that’s about twice as many Skeletons as I could ever be arsed painting without dramatically phoning it in. I suddenly understand the appeal in the totally bollock naked Skeletons of yesteryear or Warlord Games; at least those could be bashed out with relative haste, if you didn’t go full White Dwarf 211 and lovingly highlight their bony bonces.

I wonder what would happen if I tried to put together an army like this?

Characters

Clarimonde: Vampire Countess with extra magic level, Black Periapt and Ring of the Night: 285
Romuald: Vampire Thrall with Army Standard, Walking Death and Talisman of Protection: 155

Core

30 Skeleton Warriors with spears, light armour, and full command group: 355
30 Zombies with standard and musician: 195
10 Ghouls with Ghast: 90
11 Dire Wolves with Doom Wolf: 120
2 Bat Swarm bases: 120

Special

8 Black Knights with barded Nightmares and full command group: 240
8 Black Knights with barded Nightmares and full command group: 240

Rare

Banshee: 90
Banshee: 90

This is, of course, working with the models I own and my particular proclivities. I like to have a Battle Standard Bearer in my armies and prefer to bury my characters in the infantry units, using my Knights and Wolves as a flanking force. Also, I only have about 800 points of Core: everything I have gives me one of each unit and a handful of spares for raising. But it’s good enough for jazz and close enough for jam, or something like that. 20 points of spare change which will probably go on a Sword of Might for Clarimonde or something of the ilk.

This is just the list, because I’m still… working on… the backstory for these people. Everything’s still a bit fluid in that department.

It’s all making me realise a couple of things. Firstly, as much as I detest the Citadel Fell Bats, I’d quite like more fast chaff in the collection. Secondly, I really do need to do something about my Core situation; with so many Dire Wolves having gone for a burton while the army was out of my hands, I’m dangerously low on bread and butter troops, and it’s only going to get worse if I look towards playing eighth edition.

The longer I go on with this, the more I realise that my old army is deeply beloved and quite special but also surprisingly small and bitty. Adding more models is a bit of a tall order when the odds of picking up the “right” models in ready-to-kitbash-so-they-match condition are so high. Two options present themselves. Either I align with the Von Carstein theme force in the back of the book and pick up some living auxiliaries to bolster my lacklustre Troops selection, or I bite the bullet and accept that it’s time to slowly build up…

… oh God…

… a new Vampire Counts army.

*I call it this largely to avoid nonsense from any hardcore edition warriors who will come at me if I don’t give the number one spot to Paul Sawyer/Robin Dews/Jake Thornton/Ian Livingstone/Your Mum (delete as applicable). You are welcome to argue about which White Dwarf editor was the best ever on your own time, and ideally on your own planet.

**Potentially, there’s a contrived dig here at the crowd who hang around in the Alliance capital city on any World of Warcraft RP server, filling the air with arbitrary nonsense and imaginary rules about how to play magical fund pretend time… but even by my standards, that’s reaching a bit.

[WFB] The Narrative Approach (Paul Gayner, WD290)

Here’s another of those articles that inspired my Vampire Counts – one of those things that came out at precisely the right moment to kick me into collecting, building, painting and playing with the one army that I’ve ever been able to stick with.

For those who aren’t up to squinting at tiny text (reproduced as best I can from a PDF copy of WD 290), Paul’s article basically walks you through a few baseline notions in building a themed army. To synopsisise, you have:

1: an Idea,

derived this from literally anywhere you can plunder an idea from; you’re not looking to lift complete and complex notions so don’t be afraid to nick little bits from everywhere. (I never have been.) The alternative army lists in the back of the Armies books are there but, as Mr. Gayner explains and I reiterate, you don’t need them. You don’t need to deviate from the “proper” army list at all, or sit there wringing your hands because the specific troops you like are in the Blood Dragon list but you want to do Von Carsteins. You’re looking for the reason your Von Carsteins are like they are.

I was directly building into the Storm of Chaos variant list for the Army of Sylvania, which had a core of well-equipped Skeletons and Zombies surrounded by a swarm of bats, wolves and so on and so forth. No Ghouls, and only a limited supply of Knights, which is why I only had one unit for years and years.

2. an Army List,

built around those units that establish and maintain a theme and without which your commander would not be under any circumstances whatsoever. Thinking about your army in different tactical situations (i.e. different kinds of battle) is recommended – if they’re caught on the march, if they’re raided at home, if they’re much reduced in circumstances, which units never leave? Mine are my Black Knights and Skeletons, plus at least one Vampire.

3. some Models,

which are tailored to fit the particular aesthetic that goes along with your Idea.

This is why most of my models, barring the monsters, are kitbashed from Empire stuff – and even my Winged Nightmare, back in the day, was a gnarled-up Empire Griffon rather than the skinless horrors of the core Vampire Counts range. I really wanted to emphasise Sylvania as part of the Empire, a dark mirror held up to the neighbouring provinces, with uniformed Skeleton militiamen and a ragged Zombie levy and later, ghosts swarming out of the haunted Fort Oberstyre (because plastic Flagellants put the “make a Spirit Hose out of Flagellants” option within my price range at last).

4. some Characters,

of a sort who might logically lead the kind of army you’ve created. This is the bit where I go a bit off base, as my characters have been renamed and repurposed over the years and I’ve never quite settled down and defined which of them is which. I have a lot of names, derived from nineteenth-century vampire novels because I’m a pretentious arse literature graduate, but who exactly IS Lord Ruthven and which of these vampire models is him? It’s never been entirely clear.

5. some Other Stuff.

The original article recommends:

  • a baggage train (I never did this, because General’s Compendium style scenarios with extra modelling work that I wouldn’t be using week in week out were a bit too much fiddle and fart for me)
  • writing flash fiction or background to set your army’s personality (I’ve done an Amount of this but it’s all been for non-started attempts at reviving the army for eighth edition)
  • bespoke scenery (I did this once, but my old battle board was given to a gaming club when I moved to a tiny box room in London and had to reduce my hobby down to “fits in a backpack” kind of scale)

Now. This sort of thing is well and good but I don’t quite think it goes far enough. Like a great deal of the ink that’s been spilled over the hobby over the years (bad sentence, but shush, I’m not at work), it focuses too much on the army list. That’s not a reproach to Paul Gayner, who delivered an excellent article on collecting themed armies – more a commentary on how army lists are a quiet and personal process that takes place before games and are easier to discuss in isolation from the heat of the moment. Giving your characters names and converting half your models and putting thought into the colour schemes is only the start. The next step is making it have some kind of impact on the games you’re playing.

After all, this is what it’s all about…

See, I’m not a great believer in backstory, beyond the sort of sketch level that gives characters a name and a motivation and a rough personality. People tend to go too far with backstory, presenting something as tightly plotted as a novel, with no room for other players to stake a claim and have a say and help resolve and develop things.

I like collaborative, emergent narratives; stories that are generated out of actual play and that develop as a result of the experiences players have together. This is a bit tricky if you’re playing week in week out pick-up games and you’re fighting Skaven one week and Empire the next and Lizardmen the week after that only the Empire player’s borrowing some Daemons instead. Kind of hard to sort out a coherent narrative out of all that.

Back in the day, I managed it by keeping records of games and then much later sorting them into rough chronologies. My early games during the Storm of Chaos campaign were a given, and my handful of games against the Reikland Intervention Force were obviously roughly contemporary with Sigmar’s Blood, but my few seventh edition games took place around the time Mannfred von Carstein was first coming to power and the lesser Von Carsteins were fighting back, while the Mordheim campaign I played in 2008 shortly before selling the army was actually the prologue… basically, the army’s fictitious history was nowhere near aligned with its actual one. And games against anything really odd, like – let’s say a Southlands Lizardmen army, or even High Elves – would never make the cut at all because it’d be an odd game out which didn’t fit with anything already on the slate. That was a damned, damned shame.

Nowadays, of course, I tend to play chains of games against the same people with more or less the same armies (or at least the same figures, though they might walk back and forth between editions a little). This means… in theory… that we can actually string together short campaigns, narrative chains of games which let some stories emerge and build up. The People’s Panting and I have this WIP idea about playing through an Albion campaign together, and that’d be a test run for the sort of thing I’m on about.

I don’t want to go mad with it – there are some lovely campaign rules for sixth edition WFB but they absolutely depend on having regular, frequent games, week in week out, to keep momentum. It’s the same problem we have with RPGs: committing to regular weekly sessions around kids and shifts and our respective agonies just doesn’t work. With an added layer of “this is a dead game” and “we all live just far enough apart that it’s a big deal to get together and play.” So I’m looking to do what I did with RPGs: shift from the “weekly episode in an endless picaresque” to the “occasional feature length special” mode of storytelling.

Remember that platonic ideal of Warhammer I was on about, where games are heavily curated and teased up to with some skirmishes and given a bit of context? That’s part of it. Why are these two (or three) armies fighting? What happened in the run up? Does this need to be another Pitched Battle or can we plan ahead and do an Ambush or something?

Wanking away telling stories for myself is fine but I’d love to tell some with other people and really let them build up. So far we’ve been playing tester games, taster games and tournament games – not things that hang together super well – but the opportunity is now knocking to do my favourite thing.

Who ARE you fanged dorks, for goodness’ sake?

To this end, I’m actually thinking I might have to put some definite names to some definite faces, lining up my Vampires of all shapes and sizes and once and for all saying who the hell is whom. Whether Lord Ruthven sticks around or finds himself confined to the Black Coach remains to be seen. There are still plenty of Lord Ruthven’s R-Words left to name lists and reports after, after all, and it seems fitting to stick with the first and greatest of English literary vampires as my officer in charge. Even if his actual Bloodline status becomes a bit… fluid… thanks to a possible new model I have in mind (and me wanting to bugger about with different rules).

Obviously I’ll keep Clarimonde on hand as a backup Countess (a general for when I don’t fancy taking a Lord/second Lord for small games) and the malicious Sir Francis Varney as fighting Thrall and general for small forces. Goodness knows what I’m going to do with the new Battle Standard Bearer. Is he Romauld, or is that my shiny new Necromancer of variant levels? Or shall I take advantage of that loose standard, stick it in a hole on the back of a base, and have it there for anyone who wants it to lug around?

And I have to admit that I liked “The Master and Margharita” as a title/concept for my fifth edition list, hinging as it did around a Vampire Countess and a Master Necromancer. That’s another little vampire literature homage I’d like to keep going. It may be that I end up using the literary references as titles for list archetypes. I used to do the same thing with Cradle of Filth songs, which just shows how far we’ve come since 2004… in some respects, at least.